October 2025

Letter from the Committee

Self Control

“You can choose to eat this one marshmallow. However, if you choose not to eat this marshmallow while I’m gone, then I’ll give you two marshmallows when I return.” This familiar social experiment explores children’s self-control in order to earn greater rewards.

In a constant duel between long and short-term gratification, life presents us with daily decisions between restraint and indulgence: Eat that cookie, or drink some more water? Make a point with the road-rager, or just go on your way? However, biblical self-control is rooted in a value far more essential: relationship with the Lord above all else. The evidence of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling within us is the desire and empowerment to bring our entire being into submission to our Father.

Matthew 16: 24, 26a: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me… For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?”

We trade the world’s good for God’s best. As the Lord transforms our heart’s desires (Ezekiel 36:26-28), we long to remove those things that hinder or distract us from living in full reliance on the Lord and drawing nearer to Him.

We have been created with such a beautiful capacity to feel and experience deeply. However, our broken world so easily twists this integral quality into gut-wrenching pain when good is shattered or lost. When we become overwhelmed with this pain, weakness, and vulnerability, where do we turn? Do we turn to anger and bitterness? Do we turn to escape and numbness? Or do we turn to God?

We tend toward excess when we want to escape. Where are we looking for satisfaction and provision?

We tend toward extremes when we feel vulnerable or attacked. Where are we looking for justification and protection?

Just as the mythical goddess Adephagia’s never ending feast led guests to crave more intensely with each bite, so is every attempt to gratify our needs without the Lord. Thus, when next faced with an “opportunity” to practice self-control, consider, “How might I use this chance to rely on the Lord in a new way?”

Your Stoa Alumni Committee,

Samuel Durand (AR), Nicole Kaiser (MT), Elizabeth Stapleton (OK)

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